i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
