I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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