I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize