how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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