i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
