He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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