rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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