Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and she was petting her beer can
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
