why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
