Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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