I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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