call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
