i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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