Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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