when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
