I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
