i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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