I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
