Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
