No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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