Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
