Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
