I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
