I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
