when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
