Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
