Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize