Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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