Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
