in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
