You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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