You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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