there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can't put those talents on a resume
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
