I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
its liver damage thursday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
