We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize