Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
