Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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