I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
