How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
