I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
