so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
