I bet he comes in French.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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