my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
