Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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