i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
