ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize