I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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