hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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