Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
