I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need water and some morals
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
