My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
