Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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