u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
