All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
