we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
