wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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