just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
