STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
