look no pants
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
