Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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