Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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