Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
